Singleness to marrieage.....emotions on high

Here we go........12 days till I'm marring the man I could never believe God would ever bless me with!

So this past month my emotions have been on high! To start the storey the other day i was reading a friends blog in which she was talking about being single and the pain and struggles with it......so a year ago today i was right with her....27 years of singleness.....So reading her blog brought up A LOT of emotions again (like i was single again!!!!) all the hurt was and kinda still is in my heart from then...all the heart breaks and all the self asteam issues came back!!!! I was sitting in the salon crying while reading it....... Wow! who new that once you found someone, those feelings about your self don't leave! Well some of them are being healed!!! Jon has done an AWESOME job of reminding me that he is marring me and only me!!! For who i am!!!! He Love's all my izziums (is what he says)!!!

Its been very hard sometimes to not let Satan put me down.....cuz after reading the blog all the hurt about who i am and why would any body love me! Why would any body want to look at me everyday of their life! Why would any body want to have children with me!!! All these lies came back to me.....even though i know they are all lies and Jon has made it very clear to me that they are all lies and that i have a very expensive ring on my finger that should remind me that he wants to do all of those things with me and love me! So why do i doubt?????? I know i'm a realistic person ( or negative...which ever you prefer)........but all these emotions keep coming back.......does God want me to keep them, so i can talk to people who have been through the same thing......or am i suppose to forget it......I don't know!!!! Im sooooo confused.......why do i get up set thinking about this blog!!!!! (im crying right now as i type this) I have learned to love so many people in my single life and be there for other people.....and now its been very hard for me to give that up.........Jon knows how hard this is for me to do.........but it's VERY hard to give up time for and with my friends (especially since my friends were my life for most of those 27 years!!!) My life is changing.....(i hate change) but its good change......but hard...........moving my stuff out of my condo....my very first place i owned (i lived there for 3 years) were i have entertained at least once a week if not 2 to 3 times a week........moving out of there is and still is very hard...especially since were not having bible study here any more! I'm VERY excited to combine Jon and mine life but it will take A LOT of work....especially for me and my selfishness!!!! Please pray for us and me to stop being so emotional!!!!!